Wedding Toasts

Wedding toasts are key moments in the schedule of festivities. They give context and express in words the sentiments of the guests.

Arrange for those who will offer toasts. Typically, there is a toast to the bride, and a toast to the bridesmaids and/or bridal party. That toast may include the guys. There should also be a toast to the parents. There can be more toasts. These are the basics. Keep in mind there may be those who offer a toast that was not planned as part of the program.

Five absolutes to make wedding toasts and YOU a hit!

1. Your Frame of Mind Matters - determine ahead of time to make giving toasts and tributes a great experience. Set the tone in your mind and spirit to make it so.

2. Being stressed about making a toast will show no matter how great an actor you are and this will diminish the power of your presence and your words. The tribute will be weak if inside you really don't want to do it.

3. Look forward to the opportunity, no matter how hard that might be. A positive frame of mind in the weeks and days before changes you, and enables you to engage your audience making the moment meaningful and memorable. And, if you do a grea job, you could find yourself in the spotlight for such a task again. That is a wonderful compliment.

4. When you're smiling! At least half of your message is in the way you deliver it. Smiles are contagious and make people feel good. Your role in giving the toast is to make people, everyone, come together in a moment of feeling good!

5. The floor is yours; enjoy the moment. The opportunity to give formal Toasts and Tributes does not come often.

Wedding toasts bring people together

Your job in delivering a toast is to bring people together. The act of raising a glass is a collective one. To drink a toast is equivalent to the entire gathering expressing the collective hear-hear, Amen, or We Agree. In order to do this, while not specifically your job, ensure that everyone has something in their glass. It is considered rude to raise an empty glass. The drink does not need to contain alcohol, but sparkling beverages add to the celebration.

Delay your own indulgence until after your job is complete. It is distancing to your audience, and puts you at a disadvantage if your words are slurred, your judgment off, and your composure compromised. Maybe a small well-paced drink will soften the nervous edge but be careful. The effects of alcohol creep up unexpectedly. Your job in creating this moment is your primary responsibility. It is important, and brings its own joy. Save your personal fun until after the toasts and tributes. It’s worth it.

15 Things to Know When Giving a Toast to the Bride

The following is more focused on giving a toast to the bride or wedding couple. Modifications can easily be made when giving a toast to the bridal party, parents, special guests, and others. When giving a toast, consider the following.

1. Keep it Short: Limit your toast to about 3 minutes, and no longer than 4 minutes. After three minutes, attention spans will drift and your toast will be less impactful.

2. Prepare in Advance: Do NOT wing it. Write out your toast word for word. Read it over and over, and revise it as new thoughts come to mind. Do not assume that you can speak extemporaneously effectively. This seldom works. You MUST prepare. Know your toast so well that you do not need notes. You will have a glass in your hand or at least nearby. You, therefore, should not hold notes in your other hand. Notes will distract and lessen eye contact. Rehearsing what you will say, repeatedly, is key to delivering a meaningful and memorable toast.

3. Start with an Introduction: All guests may not know you. Share who you are and why you were chosen to give the toast. Give context by talking about how you came to know the couple and what the relationship has meant to you.

4. Make It Personal: Share a heartfelt story or memory about the bride, especially one that showcases her personality or kindness. Move toward talking about how they are perfect as a couple. Think of a story that illustrates your point. Stories make what you share come alive.

5. Include the Groom: Acknowledge the groom and their relationship. A great toast isn’t just about the bride, but about their union.

6. Be Positive and Celebratory: Keep the tone uplifting and joyful. Avoid negativity, inside jokes, or embarrassing moments. Share what you have learned from them as a couple. Wish them well by commenting on something that the two of them have shared with you about their hopes, ideals, dreams, and priorities. This is a moment to comment on their future together.

7. Use Humor (Wisely): A lighthearted joke or anecdote can add charm, but avoid anything that could offend or embarrass. I always told my kids, if it isn't funny for everyone, it isn't funny. The context should be warm, meaningful, and sincere.

8. Stay Appropriate: Skip exes, wild party stories, or anything too personal. Keep it classy and family-friendly.

9. Practice Out Loud: Saying it aloud helps you smooth out any awkward phrasing and improves your delivery.

10. Make Eye Contact: Engage the audience and the couple rather than staring at your notes.

11. Project Your Voice: Speak clearly and loudly enough for everyone to hear, especially in a large venue.

12. End with a Toast: Conclude by raising your glass with a warm wish for the couple’s happiness and love.

13. Pace Yourself: Speak at a natural, steady pace. Nerves can make people rush, so breathe and take your time. Pause . . . 

14. Avoid Overindulging Beforehand: Stay in control. Too much alcohol before your toast can lead to rambling or slurred speech.

15. Speak from the Heart: Even if it's imperfect, people will always appreciate an authentic and sincere toast. 

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