Advice when planning your wedding can be helpful

You clicked on this page so you are to be commended because some good marriage advice makes good sense and can help you avoid disappointment. Of course, not all wisdom that comes from others will apply to you, so pick and choose. What you take to heart, should fill a present or future need to know.

Those who have a good deal of insight into weddings and married life can help you more clearly define what you really want. The details make the difference. It's fun to dream about the perfect day but there are some things that have to be done to make the dream come true, so . . .

Three pieces of advice when planning your wedding


Advice point one: You need a marriage license

This is a critical action that you have to take. Don't put it off too long.  Your wedding won't happen without a license, or at least it won't be legal and you really won't be officially married. Therefore, plan ahead. And, you will still need that marriage license even if you elope or get married in a different country.


Advice point two: You may be tempted to elope

Ask your married friends if they considered this option. My bet is that a high majority will say that the thought at least crossed their minds, even if they knew they would never act on it.

Eloping is tempting because planning a wedding is stressful, time consuming, and expensive. The practicalities make it appealing. When you think of it there would be no marriage advice-giving from friends and future in-laws when it comes to planning YOUR day. There would be lots more money to put toward the honeymoon, furniture, and living space especially if you are paying a large part of the bill. And, sometimes even the parents of the bride, if they are paying, feel the money could be put to better and longer lasting use.

It also doesn't mean that eloping needs to be defined in the traditional sense of running away in secret. There can still be a couple of other friends or family members present and a more intimate dinner. It's more like going out for the evening. But eloping isn't right for everyone. It should not be an escape but a decision based upon what is right for the couple. Take your time. Now that's good marriage advice!


Advice point three: What about cold feet?

It happens more often that you think. Anyone can get cold feet, so, you are not alone. It's a common thing. Many things can trigger cold feet.

Here is some of the best marriage advice you can get. If this happens to you or your partner, give it some time. Time brings clarity.

Often change is fearful, and marriage is a life changing decision. Talking is important although the time must be right otherwise the one whose feet are cold might become even colder.

It is important to determine the reasons for cold feet. If marriage is truly a bad decision because of any number of reasons, then stop. It does not matter how many plans have been made, invitations sent, wedding gifts received. It is better to stop than to make a mistake IF you know this isn't right for you. It is important to face reality and truth.

One groom-to-be with cold feet said to his fiancé, well, if it doesn't work there is always divorce. Screech!! The wife to be wisely said, there will be no divorce. If you are not totally sure and committed to making this work, the wedding is off. It seemed harsh, but it helped the young man clarify what he really wanted. It wasn't that he did not want to marry the young woman, it was about marriage itself. The young man knew that his partner was the one with whom he wanted to spend his life. Both were determined that their love and commitment to each other would bring a life of meaning, satisfaction, and a world of happiness.

Separating the fear of marriage itself from the fear of not having chosen the right partner is critical. Marriage is about commitment. If you think the marriage might not work because this is not the right person for you, then stop. Save yourself and your partner a lifetime of grief.

But, don't let a moment in time that is filled with wedding planning stress, or the fear of change ruin your future. Three Ts . . . if you are the right TEAM, then TIME and TALKING are your friends.