How to Include Your Guests in the Wedding Ceremony

As I always suggest, use this as a guide. The intended purpose is to stimulate your creativity so that you can customize the ceremony to reflect who you are, your personalities, and your relationship with those who are gathered. The ceremony is, or should be, the one element in the entire celebration that holds the dignity and meaning of the event in the highest regard. Make it tasteful, and something you will always look back upon, in good times and in times of struggle, with fondness. 

The ceremony is the key that unlocks all of the other moments of celebration. Make it a moment filled with what you will be proud of in the months and years to come.

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Five ways to include your guests . . . 

The following are five ways to include your guest in the wedding ceremony itself, or upon entering the area where the ceremony will take place.

1.  Have guests participate in a responsive reading, or collectively pledge their support in a short reading..

2. Have a place of reflection and prayer for guests who wish to pause before entering the church or gathering place. This can also be done if the ceremony is to take place outdoors.

3. Give each guest or couple a wishing or blessing heart. Granite hearts can be purchased for a  modest price, or use acrylic crystals, stones or large beads. Have the guests place their token in a tall acrylic vase or bowl at the front of the gathering space while they wait for the ceremony to begin. The vase or bowl will be a lovely remembrance of those who gathered for the ceremony.

4. Give each guest a flower to bring forward to place in a vase as a soloist sings, or as music is played. The officiant can invite those in the congregation to come forward. Not everyone will want to do this but most will enjoy expressing their love and support in such a manner. 

5. Upon arrival, give your guests inexpensive hand muffs if it is a winter wedding. They can keep them as a token of remembrance. If the wedding takes place in warm weather, and outdoors, give each guest a small umbrella as shade from the hot sun. The officiant may need to ask guests to lower their umbrellas when the ceremony begins in order that the view from those sitting behind will not be blocked. The umbrellas can be in a variety of colors that complement the color scheme of the wedding event.  

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There are many other creative ways that guests can be involved in the ceremony. Giving each guest a card to write their well wishes is another way that guests can pass the time just before the ceremony begins. Guests can put the cards in a basket at the front prior to the ceremony beginning, during the ceremony with musician accompaniment, or as they exit the ceremony following the recessional. 

Guests are invited to a wedding to celebrate this major milestone of someone who is loved, to extend their support in the marriage, and to witness the event as part of a caring, relational community. Guests may need to be reminded that this is their role as some may not be able to focus on, or express why they were invited. One way that guests may forget their role is in forgetting to silence mobile devices, and being respectful of when it may be appropriate to take pictures. A welcome card given to each guest with a few suggestions may be helpful. Ideas about the wording on a welcome card might be something like . . . .

Dear friends and family,

Thank you for being part of our special day. We want you to know that there will be many opportunities for photographs after the ceremony. We hope you can put your mobile devices on silent and reflect on all of the great times that we have had together while you wait for our big entrance. 

We are so happy that you are here to witness our marriage, and to celebrate our time together. 

With love to each of you,

Jordan and Chris

I'm Getting Married: Now what do I do?

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