OUR WEDDING GUIDE
How to plan a wedding

Need to know how to plan a wedding?
Our Wedding Guide will help if . . .
     
- You are getting married!
- Planning a wedding!
- Officiating at a wedding!

Wondering where to start?
Great news! You are in the right place!

Our Wedding Guide covers in great detail how to plan a wedding. It is your path to creating the perfect wedding experience for you and your guests. This resource will help you dream, and provide you with solid action steps to make your dream a beautiful reality.

Here are a few links about creating your wedding ceremony

Thinking about personalizing your wedding vows?

Planning your wedding will be a fun and satisfying experience

Our Wedding Guide helps you dream about the possibilities for your perfect day, and at the same time, shows you how to plan a wedding through everything from practical necessities such as what to do first, through to the details that put the finishing touches on the event.

Knowing how to plan a wedding can make the planning process fun, as it should be a fun experience. Make enjoying yourself your mindset. One way of dealing with frustration and disappointment is through humor. Find a way to poke fun at life’s discouraging moments.

Another fun thing to do is to take pictures of anything and everything that goes into planning your wedding. Believe me, it will be fun to look back on, and these photographs make great storyboards to display on your wedding day. More about photographs and storyboards later, but keep your mobile phone handy.

For some the idea of the perfect wedding is all about the location, the attire, or the flowers. For others it may be the music, the décor, the cake, or the guest list. Our Wedding Guide will give ideas about how to plan a wedding in a way that makes it a complete experience that marks the whole event as yours, and sets the tone for a lifetime of love, romance, memories and dreams to come true.

Throughout Our Wedding Guide you will find very practical information, suggestions and options from which to choose. You will also find a good bit of relational advice.

Your wedding is more than a destination. It is a point on a continuum that marks only one day in your life journey.

Scattered throughout are invitations about how to plan a wedding from a perspective that may be outside of tradition. To see things differently may at times take you out of your comfort zone. You are encouraged to stay with a point of view that may challenge your thinking. Sometimes, better ideas are born out of what, at first, appears to be unusual, or outside of what you might normally have considered. 

How to plan your wedding

Traditions and Expectations

Many weddings today have become elaborate and expensive. Don’t fall into the trap that you must have something, whatever the something is. Must haves can cost a lot of money. They are often based on tradition and in some cases expectations.

Traditions are fine, and often beautiful, if you want to use some of your resources to that end. As for expectations? Whose expectations are we talking about? The decisions are yours.

I once attended, as a guest, a wedding reception that had a few different traditions. One was something called a money dance. Money was tossed toward the newlywed couple as they danced. Sometimes it was single bills, and a couple of times during the evening a basket filled with money was tossed in the air like confetti. The idea was to help the couple get off to a good start financially, and to provide a little extra spending money. Personally, I don’t carry cash. None!  I was not prepared for this tradition. There were no expectations for me to participate, but, had I known about this tradition, I would have come prepared.

Those unfamiliar with the tradition might find it to be an intrusive ask for money. In reality it is an opportunity for generosity and an expression of love.

Another tradition or expectation might be an open bar at the reception. This can be expensive for whoever is hosting the celebration.

I have been at weddings where each guest received two tickets for wine or beer. Wine was served at the tables for dinner.

I have also been at wedding receptions where the bar was totally open, and at receptions where there was no alcohol at all, not even wine with dinner. Again, this is up to you. More on this a bit later.

An alternative might be a specialty coffee bar or a chocolate display. Neither are inexpensive. I do not favor chocolate fountains. I have yet to see one that is attractive, and they are messy!

There are really no must haves when it comes to planning your wedding except LOVE. You definitely need that.

Well, maybe there are a few more things that are in the must have category. You must have an agreement with another person in order to get married. If you want to make it legal, you also must have a license and an officiant who is authorized to perform marriages. And a witness.

That’s it. The rest is optional.

Focus on the Bride or the Couple

Another assumption is that the wedding is all about the bride. It certainly can be, but your wedding, as well as the planning process, can be a lot more inclusive if you want it to be.

Typically guys do not spend years dreaming about their wedding day, or how to plan a wedding. Some girls do, and some just don’t either. Therefore interest in the planning process will vary depending on the person.

Even so, if you want your partner to be excited about your ideas and the wedding day you need to include him or her. It may be that there are many aspects of the wedding that may not be all that exciting. Your partner may say, “whatever you want.” That is fine, but at least you asked.

Try to find something about the wedding that your partner is excited about and focus on making that a topic of conversation and consideration.

Your wedding is about joining two lives coming together. The wedding planning process is a good place to start ensuring that the event is about two people, not just one.

Who is Our Wedding Guide for?

Yes, there are criteria for getting married. It is rather simple. Two people need to be in love, and are committed to spending their life together.

A television celebrity noted for her blunt opinions was once asked what she thought about two people of the same sex being united in marriage.

Her response was striking, and framed in the context of the question. With all of the problems that this world has, two people loving each other is the issue upon which you want to focus?

Our Wedding Guide is intended to be a resource for couples about how to plan a wedding for couples of any race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, sexual orientation, gender, political persuasion, disability, giftedness or age.

I once had the privilege of officiating at a marriage of two people who were developmentally disabled.

They were in love, and they figured it out.

Spirituality and your faith

Religion has played a big part in how to plan a wedding.

It is always important to consider how you wish to express your spirituality. Sometimes that expression is through religious traditions, and sometimes it is not.

Spirituality is about our search for meaning, purpose, relatedness, hope, healing, love and forgiveness. These are foundational elements of any marriage.

There are many ways of bringing out the spirituality of a couple either with or without religious tradition. I once had the delight of performing the wedding ceremony for a young couple of which both were employed as health care workers in a large local hospital. It was acknowledged in the ceremony that they had both chosen to be healers in life, dedicating their lives toward the wellbeing of others. This was an expression of their spirituality.

Poetry, music, rituals and art are all ways of expressing our spirituality. Scripture, sacred writings, sacraments, prayers, and blessings are ways of expressing our faith that is associated with specific religious affiliations.

An event or an experience?
A destination or a journey?

If we could only look back and see forward. Life is a motion picture, not a snapshot.

Often brides, grooms and couples focus on the clothes, and that is good because what is worn expresses the personality of the couple and sets the tone for the event. But there is more, a lot more. It is about a journey so much more than a destination.

We wish you the very best in using Our Wedding Guide to helping you know how to plan a wedding, YOUR Wedding.

Enjoy!

I'm Getting Married: Now what do I do?

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