Presenting the Bride, Groom or Couple

Years ago, I began using the word presenting rather than giving away when a parent or another important person accompanied someone into the wedding ceremony.

I preferred it because women are certainly not property to be given or acquired, and the moment is not about one person transferring another to someone else. It was about someone important in the couple’s life having the privilege of accompanying them into one of life’s significant moments.

Over the years, I have seen how meaningful this can be. There can be enormous pride in the face of a father or mother as they walk their son or daughter down the aisle. A grandparent, sibling, child, close friend, or another important person may fill that role. Sometimes both parents take part. Sometimes a person enters alone. And sometimes the couple enters together.

There is no single correct way to do this. What matters is choosing an entrance and wording that reflect your relationships, your family circumstances, and what the moment means to you.

Women are certainly not property to be given or acquired, and the moment is not about one person transferring another to someone else.

Who can accompany you down the aisle?

Traditionally, a father escorted the bride down the aisle. Many couples still choose that tradition because it has personal meaning for them. Others adapt it or choose something entirely different.

You might be accompanied by your father, mother, both parents, a grandparent, sibling, child, another relative, or a close friend. You may prefer to walk alone, or the two of you may choose to enter from opposite sides and meet before continuing together.

Family circumstances can also shape the decision. Divorce, remarriage, the death of a parent, strained relationships, or simply the people who have played the most important roles in your life may all affect what feels right.

The question is not “What are we supposed to do?” A better question is “Who, if anyone, would make this moment especially meaningful to us?”

The question is not “What are we supposed to do?” A better question is “Who, if anyone, would make this moment especially meaningful to us?”

Practical things to consider

Typically, dad escorts the bride, and it is probably more powerful for him than for his daughter. It is certainly a moment of privilege and pride. But mom had a significant role in raising her as well. Mom traditionally has a place of honor as the last guest seated, which signals that the wedding party is about to follow. If mom walks with dad and the bride, she gives up that place. To have both, she can rise from her chair and join them once they reach her.

Some ceremony aisles are narrow, which can make it awkward for three people to walk comfortably side by side. If both parents or two other people will accompany you, think about the width of the aisle at your rehearsal.

Also think about where the person accompanying you will go after the entrance. If a parent or another special person will sit near the front, reserving an aisle seat makes it much easier for them to reach their place without moving past other guests.

These may seem like small details, but planning them ahead helps the entrance feel natural and unhurried.

These may seem like small details, but planning them ahead helps the entrance feel natural and unhurried.

Wording for presenting the bride, groom or couple

There is no single right way to handle this moment. Some couples want to keep the traditional presentation of the bride, while others prefer wording that emphasizes blessing, support, or the joining of two families. The following examples can be used as written or adapted to fit the people and relationships involved.

6. A grandparent, sibling, child or other special person

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The person accompanying you does not need to be a parent. The words can recognize whoever has played an important role in your life.

Officiant: (Name), who has walked beside you, loved you and helped shape the person you have become?

Name: My __________ has.

Officiant: And do you offer your blessing and support as (Name) and (Name) enter this marriage?

Accompanying Person: I do.

Choose what feels meaningful to you

Whether you choose a traditional presentation, a parent’s blessing, the support of family and friends, or simply enter the ceremony together, the words should reflect the relationships that matter to you.

This is a brief moment in the wedding ceremony, but it can carry a great deal of meaning. Choose words that feel natural, honor the people who have been part of your lives, and fit comfortably with the ceremony you are creating together.