Symbols of the promise
Preface to the Exchange of Rings or Tokens
After the couple has exchanged their vows, the ceremony usually moves to the exchange of rings or other tokens. Before the rings are actually exchanged, the officiant may offer a few words about what these symbols represent. This is the Preface to the Exchange of Rings or Tokens.
The preface provides a natural transition from the promises just made to the visible symbols of those promises. It may be only a sentence or two, or it can offer a more meaningful reflection on love, commitment, and the life the couple is building together.
Traditionally, couples exchange wedding rings, but rings are not required. Some couples choose another meaningful token or piece of jewelry, such as a locket or matching bracelets. I use the word token for that reason. What matters is not the monetary value of what is exchanged, but the meaning the couple gives to it.
The actual giving and receiving of the rings or tokens comes next in the ceremony. See our wedding ring exchange wording and examples for several ways to complete that part of the ceremony.
The tokens should be durable and made to last for decades. Over time, as resources increase, you may want to upgrade or enhance them with more expensive items. That is fine, and it does not remove or replace the original value of the tokens. They are something to be treasured for lifetimes to come.
The quick version
- The preface is a few words that carry you from your vows to the rings.
- Rings are not required, so a locket or matching bracelets can work just as well.
- What counts is the meaning you give it, not what it costs.
- Donāt break the bank, because resources will grow over time.
- Invest in quality 14k gold if you can, since the ring will be in your family for generations.
In this guide
What do wedding rings symbolize?
A wedding ring is small, but it carries a remarkable amount of meaning.
It can represent commitment, faithfulness, partnership, continuity, and the promises two people have made to one another.
The circular shape of the ring has long been associated with enduring love: a circle without a beginning or an end.
Over the years, a wedding ring may become scratched, worn, or marked by everyday life. Rather than diminishing its meaning, those signs of wear can become part of its story.
The ring you exchange on your wedding day becomes a reminder not simply of the ceremony itself, but of the life you are building together.
What matters is not the monetary value of what is exchanged, but the meaning the couple gives to it.
Rings arenāt the only symbol
Most couples exchange wedding rings, but rings are not required. Some couples choose a family ring, another piece of jewelry, or a token that has particular meaning in their relationship.
Whatever you choose, its monetary value is not what gives it significance. Its meaning comes from what it represents: the commitment you are making and the promises you have made to one another.
If you exchange something other than rings, the preface is an opportunity to tell your guests briefly why that particular symbol matters to you.
Donāt break the bank just to be impressive.
Things to remember when choosing rings or tokens
You have probably already selected your rings or tokens, so think of this as a reminder.
It is about your love
Your rings are a symbol of your love. Every time you put them on you will be reminded of what that ring represents, which is your lifelong commitment and love as a married couple.
Involve your partner
It is best that your partner has input into what is selected. If you want the element of surprise during your proposal, that is fine, just be sure the engagement ring and matching wedding band can be exchanged for the same value. Then give your partner the chance to go shopping with you. Rings are for life. You want your partner to adore your gift as much as he or she adores you.
Stay within your budget
The stone does not have to be huge. Small is fine. Donāt break the bank just to be impressive. Resources will increase over time and there is a good chance you may buy a second diamond ring later in life. If finances are an issue, the stone does not even need to be a diamond. There are other stones, synthetic and real, that most people would mistake for diamonds.
Quality is important
Do invest in quality 14k white or yellow gold if at all possible. Silver is not a good option. 10K gold is ok, but my bias would be toward 14K. Remember, the ring will be in your family for generations to come.
Donāt lose them
Keep the rings in a safe place until the wedding. Pick a location that is safe and, above all, a place that you will remember.
Examples of prefaces to the ring exchange
The words spoken before the exchange can be simple or reflective. Their purpose is to give meaning to what is about to happen, to remind the couple and their guests that the rings or tokens are more than objects. They are visible symbols of the promises just made.
There is no single right way to introduce the exchange. The words should fit the tone of your ceremony and say something you genuinely want your rings or tokens to represent.
A traditional ceremony might speak of the enduring circle of the ring. A more personal ceremony might focus on the life you are building together. A religious ceremony may connect the rings or tokens with faith, blessing, or sacred commitment.
The following examples offer several different ways to introduce the exchange. You may use one as written, adapt the wording, combine ideas from more than one, or use them as inspiration to create a preface that reflects your own relationship and ceremony.
Example 1: Rings that grow in meaning
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Your rings will be a reminder of the love you share. They symbolize the presence of your partner and the treasure of your relationship.
Your rings are new today, but over time, will become worn. This will not decrease their value but rather the opposite. As time passes, their worth will increase as will the depth of your love for each other.
Example 2: The greatest gift
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You bring yourselves to this union. There is no greater gift.
What tokens have you selected to represent your commitment?
Are they tokens of wealth? You are each otherās treasure.
Are they tokens of purity? You belong to each other.
Are they tokens of endurance? Your love is constant and enduring.
Example 3: The unbroken circle of love
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May your rings be always the symbol of the unbroken circle of love. Love freely given has no beginning and no end. Love freely given has no separate giver or receiver. You are each the giver and each the receiver.
May your ring always call to mind the freedom and the power of your love.
Example 4: Songs as tokens (for a religious ceremony)
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A song or piece of music can also become a meaningful token of the promises made during the ceremony. This option may be used when the couple wishes to offer music rather than exchange a tangible object.
Officiant:
What token do you bring as a symbol of the vows you have made?
Maid of Honor:
āO you who dwell in the garden, my companions are listening for your voice.ā (Song of Solomon 8:13-14)
Best Man:
āGo to the garden and gather myrrh and spice, for the flowers appear on the earth and the time of singing is come.ā (Song of Solomon 2:10-13; 5:1)
Officiant:
Then let your song become a token of the love and promises you have shared today.
Either or both partners may sing, or a family member, friend, attendant, or musician may offer a song on their behalf.
Example 5: Jewels
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You have selected for each other tokens that represent the love you share. These gifts are precious and rare; their cost, great personal sacrifice.
These gifts are appropriate because they reflect the brilliance of light, symbolic of the brilliance of your love for each other.
In similar fashion, you mutually dedicate yourselves, make personal sacrifices for your partner, and are committed to continually refining your relationship with each other.
May these gifts serve as a constant reminder of the value and worth that you hold for each other.
Example 6: A reflection of your partnerās heart
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The tokens that you give to each other were chosen with love and care. As you wear these rings, know that they are the reflections of your partnerās heart. Wear them as a reminder of the love that is yours to receive.
Planning the rest of your ceremony?
For help putting the vows, ring exchange, and other parts of your ceremony together, see our complete wedding ceremony script guide.