For the friend who said yes
The Officiant's Toolkit
Everything you need when you've been asked to marry them.
Sold through our Etsy shop as a PDF you print at home.
So they asked you. That says a lot about you, and about how much they trust you.
I have officiated at many weddings over the years, in churches, backyards, banquet halls and a few places I never expected. I made my share of mistakes, and one of them was a big one. The Officiant's Toolkit is everything I wish someone had handed me before my first wedding.
The quick version
- A 69-page printable guide for the friend or family member asked to officiate. Clergy and celebrants find it handy too.
- It follows the order you'll live it: saying yes, meeting the couple, writing the words, the rehearsal, the day and the weeks after.
- Three complete scripts, a 16-part ceremony builder, and room to write on every working page.
- Real stories from my own weddings, including the ones that went sideways.
If you've been asked to officiate
You don't need to read it all at once. Start with Part One this week: check the law, hold the date, and have one honest conversation with the couple. Then take each part as you come to it.
By the time you stand up front, you'll know what you're doing, and it will show.
If you're the couple who asked
Most friends say yes and then quietly wonder what they've gotten into. This answers their questions before they have to ask, and it gives them a plan that starts six months out.
Give it to them with your thank-you. It's a lovely way to say "we trust you."
What's inside
Six parts, in the order you'll need them.
Before You Say Yes
The legal side, getting ordained, when to say no, and every job from the day you're asked to the day you mail the license, with tick boxes.
Getting to Know Them
Two short meetings in place of formal counseling, 20 interview questions with room for the answers, and a two-page Couple Sheet.
Writing the Ceremony
A fill-in builder for all 16 parts of a ceremony with wording choices, a timing guide, and three complete scripts: faith-based, spiritual and non-religious.
Getting Ready to Lead
Finding your voice (yes, Toastmasters), putting your words in a proper ceremony book, and what to wear, beach weddings included.
The Rehearsal and the Day
Where everyone stands, with diagrams and when to turn, a 45-minute rehearsal plan, a day-of checklist, signing the license right, and what to do after.
When Things Go Sideways
Six true stories from my own weddings, including the license number I didn't have, each with what I'd do now. Plus quick fixes for the usual surprises.
A wedding without legal authority is a lovely ritual, but it isn't a marriage. The toolkit starts there, because I learned it the hard way.
That story is in the book, along with the laughing bride, the locked door, the best man who missed the rehearsal, and a thank-you card I still think about. Each one ends with what I'd do now.
Good to know
- An instant download: a 69-page PDF, US Letter size (8.5 by 11 inches).
- Print it at home or at any print or copy shop, then fill it in by hand.
- It uses (Name) and (Name) throughout, so it works for any couple.
- It's practical help, not legal advice. The county clerk where the wedding is held has the final word, and the kit shows you what to ask.
Common questions
Is this a printed book?
No. It's a 69-page PDF you download right away from our Etsy shop, then print at home or at a print shop. Nothing is shipped.
Can I type into it?
It's made to be printed and filled in by hand. There are lines and boxes on every working page.
Does it make me legally able to officiate?
No. It shows you how to find out, step by step. The county clerk where the wedding is held has the final word, and the kit tells you exactly what to ask.
Is it religious?
It works for any ceremony. There are three complete scripts: faith-based, spiritual and non-religious, and every part of the ceremony has more than one wording.
We asked a friend to officiate. Is it a good gift?
That's one of the reasons I made it. Most friends say yes and then quietly wonder what they've gotten into. This answers their questions before they have to ask.